On through the night

Copyright, Terry D. Turner, 2009

A couple of people, including my own internal self talk mechanism, have said, "be glad when you get back to your old self." No one would be gladder than I to attain the general demeanor I exhibited before having to deal with this fast moving cancer about which I have written in previous posts. Certainly I am not claiming that my old curmudgeon character and manner could not be improved on, but it was a much more energetic and personable character than I now find myself to be.

In part it is stress that has altered me greatly. And, largely, it is the stress of the unknown. As you can easily imagine dealing with cancer of the lung, spine, ribs, etc. is no picnic under any conditions. Getting past the initial treatments is a tough job and, then following the initial treatment there is the on-going follow up treatments which require considerable discipline and an uncommon effort in terms of food preparation, and other disciplines, along with the ever present attempt to help the liver detoxify by use of un-roasted coffee enemas.

While this effort to be cancer free goes forward, there is no visible evidence that tells you if you making progress or losing ground. It is a matter of hoping you are gaining on the objective but having no way to judge how far you have come or how far you must go. Progress, or lack of it, against this type of cancer has to be judged with the huge and horribly expensive MRI/CT scanning procedures which can look in your body and see what happens you take a big dose of something akin to sugar water --- cancer does love sugar in all forms and the medical techs have learned know how to light up the cancer cells which hit their party time buttons when sugar becomes available. Then, of course, one does not want to be scanned too often so, during all the time between scan results are also times in which you must wonder what is going on inside your body.

And naturally, you do not forget that this cancer blindsided you once and only a fool would rest easy with such a sneaky opponent.

With all markers and indications absent, all the follow on treatments, protocols, and and all that goes into the battle to be cancer free must go forward, so to speak, in darkness... hoping against hope that the protocols are working and that cancer is receding or even dead.

Under ordinary circumstances we have our health issues so well defined that we think we know where things end and begin... take this for ten days and be well; rub this on and it will stop. We'll just cut this off and that will be that. Take this for headache and it will cease and so forth. If you have the flu your own dripless nose tells you it is over.

Not so with cancer. Rising with cramps in the middle of the night, or, as I am now, sitting here drenched with yet another night sweat which forces me off my wet pillow and out of my wet sheets to change into fresh underwear, you don't know how you are doing.

What you do know is that you are exhausted with taking a hundred or two hundred pills a day. You know you are weary of these drops and those drops in thirty-two ounces of water; you are water logged with don't forget your food grade hydrogen peroxide (only eight drops in five ounces of water and only four times a day) and don't forget your lead free bicarbonate of soda and, by the way don't forget to think how to mitigate the extra salt; and don't forget your dose of molasses and bicarbonate of soda, and on and on. But all of this, of necessity, proceeds because it must...these are one's tools in a silent battle with a silent opponent. It rather reminds me of a famous line whose origin I have long since forgotten "Just because I am paranoid, don't mean nobody ain't following me."

So, with the battle fully underway between yourself and the cancer, what you do have the is recurring exhaustion that comes with every little pain which says, "Hey! What am I? Could I be cancer spreading?" Of course there is no reason to think so, but this aggravation is another burden on the attempt to have a tranquil mind

The sweats and the cramps, which just don't seem to end even though now and then I get a break from one or both, but they keep coming back. Are the sweats a good thing, like detoxification? No one seems to absolutely sure but they remain a constant companion during the battle.

And there is the tiredness of the aftermath of all the treatments. It is a flat, tired energy-less zone in which you remain too tired to rest, too tired to talk; too tired to do much of anything; it is a tiredness that reminds of that mournful haunting poem, Ozymandias.

Ozymandias
by
Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a traveller from an antique land,

Who said--"Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert ...Near them, on the sand,

Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,

And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;

And on the pedestal, these words appear:

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings,

Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away."


Ah, but tired or not, we must go on with enthusiasm, and on, through the darkness and on to the dawn when at last we will see proof of our labors; the cancer markers will fade, and the CT will look in vain for the sugared cells, and the nightmare will fade. And in time, the cancer will be forgotten, new treatments will arise, and in due course the forty year old popular health destroying death treatments such as surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation, in the main, will be replaced with the alternative life supporting treatments such as hydrogen peroxide, bicarbonate of soda, zeolites, oxygen, and such. And I will be left with the memory of the many, many friends and family who came to my aid in this battle.

God Bless You and Yours in All Things,

Terry
The Constant Curmudgeon

The Opinion --- You have a 2% chance of survival and you will probably be paralyzed in a couple of weeks.

Needless to say, a sane person can hardly go forward with such a premise as a plan of action!!!

Having recently been given a very bad cancer prognosis by some conventional doctors in Texas, I am now in California with one of the world's premier alternative doctors at the Issels Medical Center in Santa Barabara, California where I am doing both alternative and conventional treatments. As my situation is very serious, I think you can at least assume that I am telling you the truth as I see it. As I am on some drugs, I may not be as clear as I would like to be, but these words are my view at the moment, drugs or no.

I wish I had the energy to write all that I would like to communicate but, while I feel I am making progress, and I am still rather weak and can't address many things I would like.

First of all thanks for the huge blessing your thoughts words, works, and resources have been to me in this particular crisis. I strongly suspect that without the immediate surge of support, I might already be history. As it is, circumstances carried me immediately to this wonderful clinic and its very anti-cancer contrarian staff--- they have a world class outlook, almost fifty years of proven experience,and they are winning the broad battle against cancer.

It is pitiful that the standard insurance and medical practice drivers, the PTB (the power that be), of this country are only dedicated to promoting chemo, surgery, and radiation when other, cheaper, and more effective tools are well known..... the big guns in this country just will not support alternative medicine or research yet, though as the cancers spread perhaps their outlook will, at last, change.

Even he worst of things, greed-materialism-immorality-poverty, must collapse in time and we can look forward to a brighter day in these and other arenas. I should mention, that even though my alternative doctors generally oppose radiation, they all agree that I have no alternative but to undergo radiation to stop the invasion of my spine by my rapidly advancing cancer and, hopefully avoid the threat of a spinal collapse and paralysis within a short term.... so I am being daily cooked in my mid back zone with radiation from Cobalt guns... .a surreal experience conducted in near darkness and total silence while giant machines seems to study your body for the best place to take a bite. I regret the need, I do not fear the technology, it is just technology unlike chemo which is just a perfect total body poison... not big deal and I do appreciate the subsequent pain relief I have felt. I was in terrible pain for nearly 15 weeks and the radiation has almost eliminated the pain in four low dose treatments back to back.

If you wonder why I am so busy, just think of this, while I am getting various IV potions, people are busy taking blood, taking temps, weight, blood pressure, oxygen content, and on and on, in the meantime I am being herded up and down the halls going from Far Infrared Therapy... .a way of being cooked at around 125 degrees inside and out and then on to Hyperbaric Oxygen Saturation, very hot and drying in a large plastic tube..... but cancer cannot survive in oxygen... it loves sugar, alcohol, and hates oxygen and fresh green vegetables (these are clues folks).

While these things, and lymphatic massage, and acupuncture and related things go on, I take the equivalent of one pill about every four minutes..... it keeps a fellow busy, not to mention the business of brewing and taking coffee enemas (coffee for enemas is not a Folgers' product' and you tell it is medical coffee by the price :-)

Suzi is exhausted trying to deal with me and my needs and, frankly, without her I would be as near to a dead duck as I would care to be. She is worked to death dealing with trying to keep our little cottage by the bay (Issels Medical Clinic housing) on a diet plan that corresponds to my needs, dealing with my sweats and T-Shirts and such due to the fact that I with my nightly fever condition (detoxification) go three three two or three sets of sweats and underwear a night... or more.

I get very hot, sweat out the suit, then I begin to freeze and have to change into dry clothes at once..... along with this problem I taking drugs to help tamp down pain and inflammation; drugs like hydrocodone (rather like codeine), morphine (which I take as little as possible--really nasty stuff), prednisone which helps with pain and inflammation (and worse, perhaps) it makes me so emotional that I can hardly speak at times.... I know it drives Suzi crazy, when she says, "Be careful or how do you feel?" and I respond by tearing up or telling her I will cut her heart out and serve it up on a raw onion taco.... this will test the limits of any relationship.

In the dark of the night, I think of better times, not that these are not great, Thank You God, I listen to or read Marty Kleva (Thank You God) and her works regarding stress and overcoming major body trauma -- you can find Marty at http://www.gemfireair.com/, and I often read from Martina Newberry's poetry collection where we can all discover that we are somehow attached to Blue Island and Martina and each other (Thank You God.)

Most of you know Suzi is very petite, has small structure and hands and it hard for her to handle heavy things, jar lids, and such, and yet here she is stuck with lifting everything in our life... I can't even lift a quart jar and the laundry weighs more than she does.

I have to sign off..... I am hopeful of some sleep.

I do want especially to thank Caroline Durston of Spa Rio Caliente ( a great place for rest, R&R, and to dump some stress) near Guadalajara, in old Mexico, for her quick, forceful, positive support and encouragement, to Edna Hennessee of Dream Valley the quick influx of a priceless supply of Aloe Mystery and WLA 132 --- two of the most powerful agents in the world against radiation burns and effective against cancer, --- if you have an interest in Aloe, Edna is the expert with the best, purest aloe on the planet, in my opinion, and she also provides great private label product services and fine aloe drinks --- and of course, all thanks to my wonderful family, Kim and Todd in particular, for providing us an easy way to make the planes and arrive here promptly.

I want to thank the Deerings, old Taos friends, who daily continue to help me with certain types of bioenergetic information and symbols (peculiar to the type of exceptional and unique body information that the Deerings have developed in connection with healing) The Deerings can be found through Spirit Emergence of Taos --- if you have a health problem you can't overcome, these folks are well worth consulting. Trust me, I have many more to thank for many things including those who, like Marty Kleva, Marty DeCluitt, my wife's family, and my own family, seem to have always been ready in the background.

Believe me, I am doing all I can to beat this and will, in due course, bring the news about how to do it to the public in anyway that I can. Suzi and I will soon put up a website to explain what we have learned and to share that with others.... I imagine we are going ahead to make this some sort of donor/subscription/and free service but these, and other events remain to unfold in their own good time.

In closing, some of you who know me well, may be amused that there is long chance that an attack by a buffalo, now about 30 years ago, may have a role in my current health battle; seems that some elk and some buffalo are infected with brucellosis which has many similarities to cancer... it will be another week before we have these answers.

The best I can suggest to you at this time is to broaden your relationship with whatever your version of the Great Spirit is, eat raw green leafy vegetables, drop all the stress you can, cut sugar and alcohol and smoking at once, and, every day, for every challenge, for every pain, for every second chance, just say, "Thank You, God, Thank You."

Terry Turner

Diogee to be Jailed

or Never get between a drug company and a chemo sale

Copyright, 2009, Terry Turner

First of all please be informed that I do not know what I am writing about. Sometimes I have feelings that have little to do with facts and I have met few facts that had anything to do with feelings. Also, I realize that many of you do not yet know my world famous dog, Diogee, or how he became a pig, but that is your loss and another story.

This story is about how Diogee come to go to jail when he had cancer a while back. You have to admit that cancer is about as unpleasant a subject as you would care to read about, never mind the pain, aggravation, and going to jail and all such might be associated with a person or a dog or a hog for that matter.

Anyway it is pretty simple. I could tell Diogee was not feeling too good. He usually helps me with the mail and all. Generally he will bring in mail left by the United States Post Office and he will throw the first class stuff on my desk and then he generally will trash the rest or use it fluff up his bedding --- he puts a great store by grocery store inserts for his bed but he does not care for things like Office Depot catalogs. Generally he will help me lick stamps and seal envelopes and such. But he was acting too tuckered to do any of that and finally I ast him if he was feeling poorly and whether he wanted to go to Vet.

It took me a two or three weeks to convince him to go. Diogee and the Vet had previously had some run ins at the city council meetings and Diogee really did not want to go see him; after all who would want to go see a Vet that had voted for a twenty million dollar tax bond; but she was the only Vet in the county.

This is a pretty long story, any one can see that, so I am going to shorten it up right here, then it won't be so long. She, the Vet, says Diogee has a sort of not too bad cancer and ought to have Chemotherapy. Diogee says he will think about it. So I took him home and we discussed it a few days.

I told Diogee he probably ought to have chemo but he says to me, he says I remember that doctor was going to take out your sister's kidneys and then she got well by taking choline... a plain old vitamin...hell even an old dog like me knows you have to take choline to help out a sick kidney. What if I just need some juice or vitamins?

I says to him will Diogee, it is your body and I will help you do what you want to do. Well we went back to the Vet and says, "Doc, what else you got, we do not care much for the chemo idea." Well, Doc says, you have to take the chemo or die." I says, well, wait a minute, are you telling me in the whole world its chemo or die. And the Vet says, "Absolutely."

So I says, but Doc, I know, personal like of people who got on Gerson's Therapy for Cancer... it's one of them well knowed and famous like medical doctor treatments and people got well on that and it is mainly about drinking juice and such. Doc, says, "Maybe so, but the only thing for Diogee is chemo."

"But Doc," says I, "Diogee says that all the dogs say that chemo stuff will make you as sick as dog and it has not hardly been improved none at all since it was invented... and a better body burner doesn't exist since its invention as far as I can hear. We'll go think about it."

So we went back to the house and I fixed up some fresh biscuits and gravy and a nice tea, no sugar, for our lunch. And I says, "Diogee, it looks like she thinks you better have chemo."

Diogee, says, well, I could have chemo but I know it will make me as sick as hog for sure. And anyways I was reading that Linus Pauling and that bunch had some great information about Vitamin C therapy and all such like that --- you known he is well knowed among dogs who like science as he won one of the No-Bell prizes. I sure would like to be that smart."

"Well" says I, "We can't be waiting for you to win no No-Bell prize. We have to do something."

So we go back the Vet and the Vet, she says in a nutshell, "There are no alternatives. Take the chemo or die."

So I says to her, "Doc, how many people die from taking Chemo?" And she says why would you ask that and I says because if a hundred people take chemo and 90 of them don't live it don't sound so hot to me and she says if you want to ask questions you better get out of here. Then she floors me when she says, "You get that Diogee in here and on chemo or I will have to report you for a non-chemical user and I will write you up for high blood pressure besides."

Then I says, "Well, I do not like that you are telling Diogee that there are no alternatives. Saying there are no alternatives is like when that doctor telling me I had to have a hemorrhoid operation and that I had no alternative and then my mother-in-law tells me that by taking vitamin B6 I can cure hemorrhoids and then I tell the doctor and he says taking vitamins is not a treatment and then I take the vitamin B6 for a week and get rid of the hemorrhoids. I say vitamins may not be a treatment but then I also say rain is not a fire truck but what do I care if it puts the fire out. And, by the way, I understand a real good hemorrhoid operation runs ten to thirty thousand whereas I guess vitamin B6 is about five dollars --- but of course you do lose the advantage of sharp knives, phone poles, and recovery time and all that. Any way the Doc tells me I am ignorant and I says durn sure am or I would be making a commission selling hemorrhoid operations like you do." Then the fight started; but that was a while ago.

Well that went on a while. When it came to alternatives I mentioned cabbage --- what ever did happen to those studies back in World War II --- no patents, no profits I guess. And I mentioned all the alternative clinics, and I mentioned Gerson again, and I mentioned magnetic clay, fasting, juicing, avoiding things that, in my opinion, are common poisons like high fructose corn syrup (some fools want you to think it is natural), monosodium glutamate, margarine which is just a way of selling hydrogenated oil products; I mentioned bioresonace type resources, and lots of similar stuff but in the end she, the Vet, says chemo or die.

So we went home agin. Diogee was in the house making us a toasted cheese sandwich. Diogee is partial to goat cheese and we both like homemade sourdough bread. Anyways, Diogee was making our lunch and I was rocking on the front porch when whoosh, whoosh-like the Sheriff rolls up to my house in his big airconditioned black and white. "Howdy." he sez, "Howdy." sez I. Then I said, "Sheriff Baumgardener, what can I do for you? We are about to have lunch, would you like a sourdough sandwich?"

And he says, "Don't try to butter me up. I am here to arrest that durn dog of yourn."

Well, my jaw fairly bounced off my belt buckle and I says, "But Sheriff, what has he done now?"

"He ain't done nothing," says the Sheriff, "but he is wanted for chemo treatment."

And I says, "But Sheriff, me and Diogee don't want no chemotreats. We have already told Doc that we are looking to do some alternator stuff like the Gerson medical treatment or something that don't make the dog as sick as hog."

And he sez, "It really don't matter what you want. This is government business, at least it is the business of the government to enforce the will of them that knows better, and that dog has got to be chemoed right now. So, you just surrender him."

"Surrender him?" Says, I, "Surrender him, how can you be asting me to surrender a dog that ain't done nothing, nor something either?"

"Well," says Sheriff Baumgardener, "I don't make the rules. The rules is that dog has got to have chemotreats and if I have to take him to jail to do it that is the way it is going to be. After all I have to enforce the will of the government of the United States of America and the people of this fair state and I am here to protect you with your rights and see that people get chemoed."

And I says, "Well, does your franchise as sheriff say that you get a goodly commission on these chemo treats? I thought I was the tax payers that elected you or am I wrong about that?

"No," he says, smart alecky like, "I am duly elected by the folks hereabouts."

So I says, "Are any folks hereabout telling you to arrest Diogee and stick him full of approved drugs that are going to make him dog sick and that we don't want?"

And he says, "You know the people hereabout don't give a damn with Diogee and his doctor. And you know as well as I do that the Vet turned you in for being a non-chemical user and avoiding the chemo fees and such, and she is demanding that something be done. Hell, she told me the drug company that sells the chemo has signed a citizens petition to the government about this situation with Diogee already; and there is a big complaint about you and Diogee interfering with the interstate marketing of chemicals, drugs, and medicine. As far as I know you may be costing senators and congersmen a lot of donations or at least lunch money."

And I says, "Sheriff, how can a giant corporation like a drug company go around masquerading as an ordinary citizen and signing petitions and such like they are somebody. You know as well as I do that citizen's petition ought to be from folks like you or me, not some giant corporation with more lawyers than employees?" Then he says, "Don't get smart, that is lawyer stuff and you know it." And I says, "Well, I know it is lawyer stuff, they always lead with their laywers and their their boughten and paid-for scientists and experts that have never been beyond sight of the front door of the senate dining room or thier bank.

And I says, "We ain't going to jail to take no chemo shots. My dog and me do not want to do it. That body standing here with my lunch is my dog's body and he has made clear that he does not want no chemicalization of something he does not trust."

Well, quick as wink that durn sheriff put the cuffs on me and on Diogee and before we knowed it we was in jail. It did not disturb me an awful lot. We were in jail before when the gumint declared Diogee a pig (before and after that he was my dog, but that is another story).

Like I said, I better shorten this up, so I will right here. Well I told the Sheriff that I would sue when I got out of jail and he says he won't do no good and I says a dog's body is his own and he says to me, smart aleck like, you need to grow up and, I quote, "You just think you own your body, the gumint owns your body and your dog's body and you ought to know better than to get between a cancer victim and chemo sale. Do you realize how much money can be made off chemo? Grow up, Old Son, grow up; you might treat cancer with cabbage juice, but no one can make fistfuls of dollars on cabbage juice. Just quieten down and realize that you are fighting the former almighty dollar"

Well, the short of it is Diogee got chemoed. I hope he will live over it but he is pretty sick at this time. I have taken a third mortgage on the farm, mostly to pay for chemo and to help with my legal bills. My lawyer, who jumped to my defense, says to me, "You are right, this is America and you surely own your own body. We will take it all the way to the Supreme Court where the socialists are if it takes every dime you have." He made me feel real good about it, but still Diogee has been chemotreated and, just like taking vaccines full of horrible preservatives, I am not sure he will ever be well again. But hey! Whats is a little autism, Alzheimer's, or a dysfunctional immune system, and such to a healthy person?

I would say this about chemo. Never get between a drug company and a sale... you are sure likely to come out the loser; unless, of course, you are getting a commission or at least a trip to a big golf course.

But at night, sometimes, when I sleep on the front porch and look up at the stars a winking and blinking and I jist lie there and stare off in the illimitable reaches of space, I wonder to myself, if I did not sell my body, how did it come to be that I do not own my own body nohow?

And, how come I am not the one that gets to decide if I want take chemo or eat cabbage if that is what I want to do with my body? You just ast me that? How come?

Can you just answer that?

Please?

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Hey! If you think its tough reading this stuff, you ought to try writing it.